


Great Expectations

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-09
Updated: 2002-02-09
Packaged: 2019-05-15 03:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14782892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh/Donna- another New Year's story





	1. Great Expectations

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

   


 

**Great Expectations**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Another New Years story.  
**Spoiler:** Just about everything up to Noel, just to be safe - heavy ITSOTG  
**Author's Note:** I'm trying to reexamine the whole Josh/Donna thing, since I'm thinking in my other stuff they may have jumped to a romantic thing too quickly. Well, we'll see 

The White House was decorated almost as lavishly for the New Year - the official start of the new millennium, no matter what some might say - as it had been for Christmas. The only difference was that a certain low-visibility psychologist had met with the President and his senior staff, and there was a conspicuous absence of music at the festivities this year. There was a band playing in only one room of the White House party, a room with a heavy door that could be kept closed if necessary. Needless to say, no one actually discussed this measure. No one discussed a lot of things.

The reason for all this care and discretion was at ten PM on December 31st sitting behind his desk reading, his tuxedo half on, the sleeves rolled up, and his tie sitting on his desk next to a stack of documents. He was engrossed in his reading and had been absently running one hand through his already wild hair for several minutes. He didn't even notice when his door swung open and someone entered in a rush of swishing crinoline.

"Josh?"

He looked up, distractedly. "Hey there, CJ."

She looked at her watch reflexively even though she knew the time. "It's ten. The party's starting."

"I guess the President'll kick my ass if I'm not there, huh?"

CJ smiled. "You don't stop wrinkling that suit, Donna's going to kick your ass."

With a sheepish grin he stood, revealing that he was wearing jeans instead of the bottom of his tux. "See? Wrinkle-free."

She tilted her head to the side in that endearing way she had. "You were wearing your tux pants earlier," she guessed.

There was no point in denial. "Yeah."

"And you rolled all over the place and got them wrinkled."

"Yeah."

"And Donna took them to iron."

"Yeah."

CJ broke into melodious laughter. "You'll come to the party as soon as you get your pants back?"

"I'll be there."

"Good." In his doorway she paused for a moment. "Josh..."

He looked up from where he had just picked up another document. "Yeah?"

She changed her mind - they had all night, after all. "Never mind. I'll see you at the party."

"Yeah." He was already not paying attention to her anymore. She swished her way out of the office and down the hall.

The next time he heard a rustle of skirts in his office he did look up, sensing that his pants had come back.

"We're late," he said without prelude.

"Better late than wrinkled," his assistant replied, unfazed. She shook his pants out and laid them across the desk. "Dress."

He eyed her for a moment and she quickly turned around, staring carefully out into the bullpen.

"You want to close the door, at least?" he asked, already unbuttoning his jeans behind the desk.

"Close the door so you can get undressed with your assistant?" she replied. "I think not."

"You could leave," he pointed out fruitlessly. He knew she would stay, if only to torture him.

"If I leave you'll sit down and go back to work and we won't hear from you again till tomorrow."

Grumbling but fully aware that she had a point, he slipped on the pleasantly warm pants and fastened his black cummerbund over them. "All clear," he announced.

She spun around and glared at him. "Well, thank God you're wearing a jacket." 

"What?" he asked innocently.

She stalked over to the desk and grabbed one arm, unrolling the sleeve as she talked and trying to tug the creases out of it. "You don't roll up the sleeves of a tux, Josh."

"I do."

She rolled her eyes. "Cufflink."

"Desk."

She deftly fastened the cuff of the sleeve and turned her attention to the other one. "And what have you been doing to your hair?"

He raised his free hand defensively to his head. "Nothing?"

"Bad guess." She released his arm with a little more force than necessary and grabbed his tie from the desk, fastening it around his neck with a fervor that nearly choked him. "Move a second, there's a brush in your desk."

"Donna, I am not letting you fix my hair," he protested even as he moved so she could open the drawer.

"Sure you are," she replied easily. "'Cause you look like Janis Joplin."

"I always liked Janis," he said as he bent forward obediently so that she could better reach his hair.

She stepped back, tapping the brush against her chin. He spread his arms and grinned charmingly at her. "Okay?"

She sighed. "Close enough."

He rolled his eyes in a pretty good imitation of her earlier expression and shrugged into his black jacket. "CJ was just here to hurry us up."

"To hurry you up, you mean," Donna replied. "I hope you told her she looked good." At the expression on his face she sighed again. "Josh..."

"Donna..."

"Women need stuff like that, Josh," she chastised, gathering up her wrap from  
the chair where she'd dropped it earlier, when she took his pants. "CJ's your friend."

He was not quite as much of an idiot as she thought, and he caught what she wasn't saying. "Donna."

"Yeah?" She turned in his doorway to look back at him, and for a moment he was so struck that, ironically, he forgot what he'd been about to say. She was wearing, not the greenish dress she'd worn to the Congressional party, but the deep wine-colored gown she'd bought two years ago for the Inaugural Ball. She'd thrown the sheer silver wrap around her upper arms, leaving her shoulders bare and glowing white against the dark straps of her gown. Her hair was down and the sides twisted back from her face - he thought he remembered seeing it that way at Christmas as well - and the light from the hallway shining into the dimmer office made it glow a rich gold. She looked like a Victorian princess, radiant and graceful and very, very young. He smiled. "You look beautiful."

"I wasn't -"

"I know." He waved away her comment with one hand. "Hang on, I'm coming with you."

In the hall outside his office he turned to her and held out his arm formally. He'd never done anything like that before - six days ago on the way to the hospital she'd taken his arm, but he'd never offered it before. The pleased glow that spread across her face almost matched her dress.

Her color deepened further at the pleasure of walking into the New Year's party on his arm, as people turned to look at them. With a great deal of self-control she managed to look as carefully blank and calm as always, as if she were just arriving at a party with her boss.

You are just arriving at a party with your boss, she reminded herself. For pity's sake cut it out. All this holiday cheer was making her positively maudlin.

Once in the room Josh left her to go and greet CJ and the President, who were standing together by a fireplace chatting with someone from the Department of Labor. Donna wandered over to find Sam, who was standing alone near a leftover Christmas tree. Even though he and Sam were in effect best friends, at these functions Josh often clung to the President or Leo and CJ and Toby usually hung out together (pretending, of course, to hate each other the whole time). Sam didn't always fit in with the older staff. As a result, when Margaret wasn't there (and she hadn't arrived yet) he had become Donna's unofficial party buddy - that is, until CJ needed him to pretend to talk to her.

"Hey," he said as she approached. "You look great."

Donna beamed. Sam could always be counted on. "Thanks. So do you." Could be counted on, and looked incredible in a tux. Not that Josh didn't, but Sam was pretty.

And gentlemanly. He held out his hand and squeezed hers briefly, then reached behind him and handed her a glass of champagne.

"Starting a little early, aren't we?" Donna asked dryly, but she took the glass from him anyway.

He shrugged. "I have a feeling it's going to be a long night."

She raised an eyebrow, but before she could ask she saw CJ smile at Josh across the room and look reflexively down at her dress. "Way to go, Josh."

"What did he do?"

Too late Donna realized she's spoken aloud. "He finally managed to compliment CJ."

"He does that all the time," Sam pointed out.

"Yeah, at random times on ordinary days," Donna returned. "But put her in a dress and it's like she's not even there."

"I wonder why that is," he replied thoughtfully.

She took a long sip of her champagne. "I think he's immune to women in formal wear." 


	2. Great Expectations 2

 

**Great Expectations**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Another New Years story.  
**Spoiler:** Just about everything up to Noel, just to be safe - heavy ITSOTG  
**Author's Note:** I'm trying to reexamine the whole Josh/Donna thing, since I'm thinking in my other stuff they may have jumped to a romantic thing too quickly. Well, we'll see 

Across the room, Josh was looking nervously at his watch. Ten-thirty already. Actually, he supposed that meant it was really ten-forty-five. See, he didn't need to get his watch fixed as long as he always remembered that it was wrong. He was praying that he could make it through the night - the first time he'd been around so many people since the Congressional Christmas party - without having any episodes or flashbacks. Mostly he was worried about midnight. The President and First Lady and her staff had managed to arrange for this room to be fairly quiet (he had noticed, even though no one mentioned it) but he knew that at midnight there would an explosion of noise on which the Congressional party had nothing. And he honestly had no idea how he might react.

Well, only one way to find out. He glanced over at Donna, who was chatting pleasantly with Sam. No need to interrupt her, plus... well, anyway, there was no need. He turned to CJ, who looked deadly bored anyway. The guy from Labor had turned out to be as big a trivia fan as the President and the two of them were running down the history of New Year's celebrations in the West. They were only on the Anglo-Saxons. Josh held out his hand.

"CJ?"

She looked at him oddly, as if the hand he was holding out had something dangerous sitting in it.

"Dance with me?"

Her eyes narrowed and he could tell she was trying to ask without alerting the Labor guy that there was a "situation." "Are you sure?"

His eyes flicked over to the stranger, but the President had him well distracted. "No, but I thought now, when it's early and pretty calm, would be a good time to find out."

She was nervous, he could tell that. For his part, despite that fact that he knew they were only concerned about him he hated all the wondering eyes watching him as he walked with CJ into the main ballroom. Of course, only about eight of those pairs of eyes actually knew anything was wrong - the others were only caught by the sight of a striking couple of fairly famous people. It didn't really feel any different.

"Are you sure you shouldn't..."

They had made it through the doors and were standing just inside the ballroom. Josh took a couple of deep breaths and strained, trying as always to pick up the thin, whistling sound that had haunted his dreams and his waking hours for months...

Nothing. He turned to CJ. "Am I sure I shouldn't what?"

She looked flustered. "I mean, if you're going to do this, wouldn't someone else - Donna..."

He took her hand. "Donna's talking to Sam, I didn't want to bother her. Besides, this is a social occasion, not a physical therapy session."

"But she'd know what to do -"

"You think she would?" he asked rhetorically. "She didn't know what to do any more than the rest of you. That's why she went to Leo."

CJ frowned. "It's just that if something happens -"

"I don't think anything will happen. And if it does - well, we'll deal with it then." He pulled her onto the crowded dance floor before either of them could change their minds. She gave him a smile - a real one, not a nervous, faked one - and they took up a comfortable dance position developed over years of easy familiarity. They started to move cautiously at first in time with the music, and then he squeezed her hand and gave her a reassuring grin. She relaxed and they began to dance more surely.

"What happened when you left the other night?" CJ asked hesitantly, not sure if she should be bringing up this topic.

"What do you mean?"

"When Donna took you to the hospital."

He pretended to think for a moment. "Donna took me to the hospital."

She lightly slapped the shoulder she was holding. "You know what I mean."

His brow furrowed. "Not really, actually. Donna took me to the hospital. They wrapped my hand up, but they couldn't stitch it because the cut was so old. But it's fine now, see?" He squeezed her hand, and only then did she notice that she was holding the injured one. "Then - I couldn't stay at my place because of the window - or rather, Donna said I couldn't stay at my place with a broken window - so I spent the night on her couch. End of story."

CJ lifted an eyebrow.

"What?"

She grinned. "Oh, Josh."

"What?"

"She really takes care of you, doesn't she?"

A wisecrack came immediately to his lips, but he bit it back. "Yes, she does."

"Do you have any idea why?" She had that tone - the tone she got when she knew she was right about something and was waiting for someone else to catch up. Toby had a different variation on it - which was fine, since they used those tones mostly on each other anyway.

"She's my assistant," Josh replied, still confused but beginning to be frightened by her tone.

"Uh-huh."

"What was that supposed to mean?"

CJ grinned. "Is it in the job description of an 'assistant' to babysit her sick boss for three months? To actually go to his apartment day after day to bring him food and do his laundry? To stay late whenever he has a meeting just because he likes to talk to her when they're over? To hang out sprawled on the bed in his hotel rooms?" At his horrified look she grinned even wider and said, "Oh, yeah, everyone knows about that."

"Everyone knows about what?" he asked desperately.

"In LA? You left your door open. You know, the time when Donna had to come and sit on the bed with you to give you your phone messages."

He really couldn't understand why he was blushing. "She's my assistant, for crying out loud. And she was in there telling me to ask out another woman."

CJ let go of his shoulder to take his chin firmly in hand and pull his face up to hers. "Josh. She may have been in a little bit of denial there, and she may still be, and that's why she goes out sometimes with those guys who make you crazy, but none of that means that she doesn't have a little crush on you."

There were so many bad things in that speech that he couldn't pick one to comment on. "What do you mean, those guys who make me crazy?"

"I heard all about your little outburst when we were in Portland."

"Donna told you -"

"Donna didn't tell me anything, your friend Matt Skinner did."

He started to blush again. Why was he blushing? It was Donna. Everybody knew what his relationship with Donna was. "What did he tell you?"

"That you were insanely jealous of whatever poor unfortunate soul Donna had just gone out with. That you said she had no future with him because you said so. That you actually stopped dead in the middle of a conversation about the Defense of Marriage Act to watch her leave the room and walk down the hall."

"That was just..." What was that? He hadn't been thinking when he said those horrible things to her - it was like a gut reaction. And he really hadn't noticed himself watching her, but then Matt Skinner wasn't exactly a gossip. If he'd thought to mention it to CJ, it must have happened.

Wow.

"I don't know why I did that," he admitted finally.

"I do."

He looked at her, surprised. "Enlighten me." Please.

She nodded. "Ever since the beginning, the entire chemistry of your working relationship with Donna has been based on the fact that you gave her a chance for which she is very grateful and the fact that you like to flirt with each other - both of which," she said, over his protests, "are related, whether as cause or effect, to the fact that she has a little crush on you. Come on. Do Sam and Toby talk to their assistants the way you talk to Donna? Does Leo?"

"Leo teases Margaret all the time."

"Not about philately." She pronounced it fast on purpose. He blushed deeply. "Yeah, Donna did tell me about that one. Blushing like wildfire, by the way, just like you're doing now."

"That was just -"

She waved away his protests. "Josh, would working with Donna be as much fun if you didn't flirt with each other all the time?"

"Working with Donna is fun?"

She gave him a stern look.

"Okay, you're right - it wouldn't."

CJ rubbed his shoulder a little and her tone softened. "Look. You see what she wants you to see. But you weren't out in the waiting room during your surgery, or at work during the months you were recovering. When she found out you were hurt - the look on her face - she wasn't saddened, or worried, or - she looked like her life had fallen apart. And I think it had." Seeing in his face that she had reached him, she continued. "Josh, there is no doubt in my mind that Donna has a crush on you. Count the reasons yourself, there are lots. The thing is, the shooting only intensified any feelings she might have had, and where before it might not have been so intense, now it's really easy for you to hurt her. You don't even have to do anything, it hurts her enough that she's not as central in your life as you are in hers."

He nodded slowly. Sure. He could see that, sort of. After all, he was always working and hanging out with Sam and CJ - sure. But whether that meant that he was neglecting Donna - or that they had anything to neglect...

"I'm just afraid," CJ said gently, "that she's inevitably going to get hurt, or that she's eventually going to stop waiting for you to notice her and turn to someone else."

"What would be so bad about that?" he asked, but even he could hear the emptiness in his tone.

"Do you hear yourself?" CJ asked. "You're thinking it would be good for her to forget about you and get herself some nice guy her own age, right? But that thought makes you crazy, doesn't it?"

Well. At least now he had a name and point of origin for that sinking feeling in his stomach. "Yeah. It does."

She leaned her forehead against his for a moment in sympathy. "I don't know what you're going to do, Josh. It's a sticky situation - she has some feelings for you, I know you have some for her, but neither of you really knows how deep they go, do you?" He could only shake his head. "Yeah. I don't want to see either of you get hurt."

He tightened his arm around her waist. "I know. Thank you."

If he sounded a bit distracted, it was because he had caught sight of Donna dancing with Sam, several couples behind CJ's back. They didn't see him. They were deep in conversation, and as he watched, she laid her head comfortably on Sam's shoulder and he pulled her closer. Josh bit his lip thoughtfully. 

  



	3. Great Expectations 3

 

**Great Expectations**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Another New Years story.  
**Spoiler:** Just about everything up to Noel, just to be safe - heavy ITSOTG  
**Author's Note:** I'm trying to reexamine the whole Josh/Donna thing, since I'm thinking in my other stuff they may have jumped to a romantic thing too quickly. Well, we'll see 

Donna rested her head on Sam's shoulder and heaved a deep sigh, taking comfort in the warmth of his arms around her.

"You okay?" he asked, noticing her mood.

She straightened up for a second to look him in the eye. "Yeah. Fine." She settled back against him and hoped he would drop it.

He didn't. "You seem kind of..."

"Kind of what?" she asked from his chest.

"I don't know. But something's wrong."

"It's really not." Even she didn't think she sounded convincing.

For a second he lifted one hand to the back of her hair. "If you wanted to talk - you would tell me, right?"

Donna smiled. "You're really sweet, you know that?"

He sighed now. "Tell that to Mallory," he said, referring to the topic of their earlier conversation.

"Are we back on that?" Donna teased. "Seriously, Sam - call her."

"I can't call her - she's dating someone else!"

"Don't call and proposition her - call and say you just wanted to apologize again for not calling her after the picture."

"What if the hockey player's there when I call?"

She smacked his chest fondly, completely unaware that Josh saw her do it and tightened his grip on CJ's waist. "Sam, you are such a weenie."

"I am not."

"You are too."

He laughed with her and hugged her a little closer. "So tell me something."

"Sure," she replied immediately.

"How's Josh?"

She gave him an odd look, which of course he didn't see because she was under his chin. "Sam, you're his best friend."

"Yeah, but he hasn't talked to me about this and I haven't wanted to push."

"What makes you think he talked to me?"

"Well, you took him to the hospital."

Donna frowned. "That doesn't mean we had to talk. He could have been completely silent all night."

"Could have been, but wasn't?" he pressed.

Too late she realized she should have phrased that differently. "We talked a little, but not much. He's doing better. I think."

"Hey, wait a minute." He pulled away so that he could look at her. "Did you say 'all night?'"

"Oh, for God's sake." She tried to play it casual, but she couldn't stop the color from rising in her face. She could feel the heat spreading across her cheeks. "An entire window in his living room was knocked out. He spent the night. On the couch."

Sam grinned. "You are so red right now."

She could do nothing but smile embarrassedly. "Sam..."

"I know, I know. I was teasing you." He frowned. "Donna, is he still mad  
at me about the thing?"

"What thing?" She looked up, her eyes serious now. "The oil thing?" 

"Yeah."

"No." Her brow furrowed in thought. "Why?"

"Because he's been glaring at me for the last five minutes."

Across the room CJ squeezed Josh's injured hand just hard enough to make him wince. "Ow, CJ. What was that for?"

"You're breaking ribs," she complained, physically using her hand to loosen his grip on her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"That's why you're glaring at someone back there and trying to kill me?" Taking control she danced him around in a little circle and examined the room. "All I see is Sam and Donna - Josh!"

"What?"

She gave him a combination knowing smile and shocked expression. "Are you jealous of Sam?"

"That's ridiculous."

"Of course it is. So why don't you know that?"

"CJ..."

Before he could stop her she was dancing him over to the other couple. "Hey, you guys."

Sam and Donna, who had been talking quietly and looking intently at each other, broke away and greeted Josh and CJ distractedly. CJ held out her hand. "Donna, I'm cutting in. Spanky here and I have some things we need to discuss." Ignoring Sam's panicked expression CJ took Donna's hand and placed it in Josh's. "Take care of Josh, would you?"

As they moved away Sam turned his frightened eyes on his new dance partner. "What have I done?"

"Nothing," she replied.

"Then what did you have to talk - wait. We're just pretending to be talking, aren't we?"

"But I am talking to you, Sam."

He glared at her. "Funny. Seriously, what's up?"

"What do you mean?"

"I doubt you were just suddenly seized with the uncontrollable urge to dance with me."

"Sam, I think you underestimate your cuteness."

"Really, CJ. Why was Josh glaring at me?"

She laughed merrily. "You noticed?"

"Yeah. Is it funny? Please tell me it's funny."

"Don't worry. It's funny. Well, sort of." She leaned close and whispered conspiratorially. "It's Donna."

Sam frowned worriedly. "I knew something was wrong with her."

CJ was startled out of her story. "What?"

He nodded. "She's just - not right. She's upset about something but she wouldn't tell me."

"Oh, God." CJ reached up and brushed the bangs off her forehead. "It has to be the same thing. Damnit, I knew this was going to be bad someday. I was just hoping it wouldn't be today. Things were looking so good with Josh a minute ago."

"CJ, what are you talking about?"

"Josh and Donna."

"What about them?"

She gave him a look.

"Is this about him spending the night at her place? Because -"

"No." She sighed. "You haven't noticed Donna's little..."

His eyebrows lifted. "If you're actually asking whether I've noticed that she has a thing for him, that's not exactly a breaking newsflash."

"No."

"She's always had a thing -"

"Yeah, but he hasn't always had a thing for her."

Sam stared back at her.

Meanwhile, CJ's revelations making him overly conscious of what he was doing, Josh held Donna in a delicate and very formal dance position. "So," he asked, trying to sound casual, "what were you and Sam talking about?"

"Mallory," she replied innocently. "I told him he should call her." 

"You told him to call her?" he echoed in shock, his problems forgotten. "Are you crazy? She's dating a hockey player!"

"Sam says he's a bad hockey player," Donna pointed out.

"That doesn't mean he can't use a stick," Josh countered.

Donna's eyes, locked on his, widened. Then she realized what he meant. "Oh!" she exclaimed, blushing furiously.

"Oh, what?"

She shook her head. "I really don't think he's going to beat up a guy who works at the White House, Josh."

"You'd be surprised to know that some people are not deterred by that."

"No, I wouldn't," she reminded him softly.

He paused. "No, you wouldn't." Remembering his conversation with CJ now, he looked at her carefully. She looked - upset. Not about being reminded of the shooting - not momentarily saddened - but really upset. He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, and her tiny, almost imperceptible gasp of surprise sent an answering jolt of adrenaline through his body.

Oh, my God, he thought. We have chemistry.

It was too scary to dwell on. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Everyone keeps asking me that," she said, faking cheerfulness. "Sam, you. Everything's fine."

"You're sure?"

She nodded. "Positive."

He didn't believe her, but he figured she would talk when she was ready. "Okay."

The music stopped, and he stepped away, trying to give her the space she needed. "We should go back in," he said, gesturing toward the room where the President still was.

Her eyes darkened and he could have sworn there was a catch in her voice when she replied, "Yeah, we probably should."

He hesitated for a moment, then turned and walked back into the other room, waiting for her to follow him. She watched him go for a few seconds before she went as well. He had asked what was wrong, which was a first, but she was positive he didn't want to hear about this. He'd been very clear about his interest, or lack thereof, in her personal life. 

  



	4. Great Expectations 4

 

**Great Expectations**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Another New Years story.  
**Spoiler:** Just about everything up to Noel, just to be safe - heavy ITSOTG  
**Author's Note:** I'm trying to reexamine the whole Josh/Donna thing, since I'm thinking in my other stuff they may have jumped to a romantic thing too quickly. Well, we'll see 

By the time Donna returned to the smaller room Josh was deep in conversation with Leo and an aide from the Department of Defense. He glanced over as she entered and their eyes met. He sent her an enigmatic look, not exactly curious but uncertain, and then returned to his conversation. She stood frozen near the doorway, her eyes scanning the room for some refuge from the bout of melancholy that had come over her. She spotted Margaret and Ginger over in a corner and heaved a deep sigh of relief.

Margaret and Ginger at least looked happy to see her and Ginger reached behind her to pull up an extra chair. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Donna said, her voice sounding petulant and almost on the edge of breaking down.

Margaret frowned. "Because you look worried about something and you sound awful."

For exactly four seconds Donna considered talking about it. She decided it was more complicated than she had the energy to get right then. "I'm just tired," she lied, leaning her head against the wall. "I don't know how I'm going to make it to midnight."

Ginger checked her watch. "Only fifty-five minutes to go."

"But the party lasts till one," Margaret reminded them.

Donna sighed. "Think anyone would notice -"

"Hey, if we're stuck here, you're stuck here."

"It's not so bad," Ginger said in her characteristically quiet way. "I mean, would you have had a date for tonight if you weren't here?"

"I could have scrounged something up," Donna replied, striving for her usual tone.

"I got excused last year, remember?" Margaret said. "I spent New Year's eating cheese with my cousin in Baltimore and calling Leo every nine seconds to make sure -" She broke off abruptly.

"To make sure what?" Donna asked, her curiosity pulling her momentarily out of her slump.

Margaret paused just too long to sound cavalier about it. "Just to make sure he was okay." In the silence that followed she seized an opportunity to turn on Donna. "What do you mean, you could have scrounged something up? You'd rather be with someone you scrounged up than here?"

Donna's mouth opened and closed a few times before she came up with an answer. "At least I wouldn't have to be here."

Margaret gave her a skeptical look. "You and Josh are connected at the hip. I'd have thought you'd be here even if it wasn't mandatory."

"It's just depressing, that's all." She leaned back against the wall again. "And we are not."

Margaret and Ginger exchanged looks before Ginger spoke. "Depressing?"

Donna shook her head, unable to formulate a coherent sentence. "Just - everybody - never mind."

This time her two friends frowned worriedly at each other. Margaret reached out and put an arm around Donna, pulling her close. "Whatever it is, can we help?"

Donna was suffering from that quirk of some personalities that makes them able to withstand all kinds of conflict and struggle but makes them burst into tears as soon as someone is nice to them. Margaret's concerned kindness made her feel sorry for herself, which was what she had been fighting valiantly all night. The tears sprang to her eyes and she had to blink furiously to keep them back. She couldn't speak until she had swallowed against the lump in her throat. "No, I don't think so. I'm just - I'm just really tired." She knew she sounded bad, but she also knew they couldn't press her any further - they had to see she was near breaking down and she knew they wouldn't push her in public.

Margaret hugged her for a while, letting the younger woman rest against her shoulder. "Do I need to beat anybody up? You just let me know, Donna."

That earned her a short, choked laugh. "No."

"Okay." Margaret sent Ginger another worried look over Donna's head.

"Josh," Leo said as the aide turned away from them to get more champagne, "Is Donna okay?"

"Donna?" Josh echoed. His current state of hyper-awareness made him sound like he was hiding something, which only reinforced Leo's concern. "Why?"

Leo jerked his head toward a far corner of the room. Josh turned and quietly observed Donna leaning exhaustedly against Margaret's shoulder, looking completely wearied. "I don't know," he said honestly. "We were just talking a minute ago and she seemed fine."

Leo's eyes narrowed. "Did you do something?"

"No!" He frowned. "I don't think so. Oh, hell."

"What?" his boss asked suspiciously.

Josh spread his hands helplessly. "Well, I don't think I did anything, but you know women. Come to think of it, there was a second where I thought she didn't look quite right, but she said she was fine."

Leo's tone was more gentle. "Are you sure she didn't just feel uncomfortable talking to you?"

Josh raised an eyebrow. "The woman dressed me for a month. What could she possibly feel uncomfortable talking about?"

"I'm just saying, you're still her boss. Maybe she just felt better about talking to Margaret and Ginger."

"Or Sam?" Josh said almost sarcastically. "They were talking up a storm earlier."

Leo stared at him. "Josh."

"I am not jealous."

Even though that was exactly what he'd been thinking, Leo asked, "Who said you were?"

Josh knew he was trapped. "I just dug myself a hole there, didn't I?"

The Chief of Staff looked serious. "Uh-huh."

Josh sighed. "Earlier CJ said she thought I was jealous of Sam."

"Are you?"

"That would be stupid."

"Yeah, it would," Leo returned. "Mainly because there's nothing between Sam and Donna that there isn't between, say, you and CJ. Just for starters."

"But why would you think I'd be bothered by something between Sam and Donna?" 

Leo just looked at him. "Josh."

"I mean it. Why -"

"Josh." Leo took a deep, careful breath. "Just - be careful with her, okay? Work out whatever it is that's going on inside your head, and do it before it starts causing problems."

Josh tried to laugh. "Leo, I don't -"

"Josh. Look at my face. I know."

"You know, that might work on Margaret, but -"

"Josh..."

"Okay."

Leo nodded and walked away. Josh looked at his watch. Eleven-twenty. Which meant eleven-thirty-five. He had this down.

He walked over to the tightly knit circle of assistants, watching Donna sit up straight and rub at her eye as he approached. "Hello, ladies," he said, managing to sound completely uncomfortable.

Fortunately Margaret and Ginger didn't pick up on it and Donna wasn't paying attention. Ginger stood and shyly kissed Josh on the cheek. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," Josh replied with a pleased smile. Margaret followed suit, adding quietly in his ear, "I'm glad you're okay." He met her eyes and was suddenly inspired. "Can I borrow you for a second?" Margaret gave him a confused nod but followed him to another corner of the room. Donna leaned back in her chair again, eyes sliding almost closed and a completely listless expression on her face.

"Did Donna talk to you?" Josh asked without hedging.

Margaret gave him a look that she had either learned from Leo or perfected through years of fighting with him.

"I'm not trying to pry," Josh reassured her. "I'm worried."

The tall redhead relented and shrugged. "She didn't really say much. Just that being here is depressing."

"Just that being here is depressing?" Josh repeated. "That's not much to you?"

"I mean she didn't say why."

He exhaled heavily. "Well, I guess she doesn't really have to."

"You know?"

He shook his head. "No. I mean, yeah, kind of. She just doesn't want to be stuck here at work on New Year's Eve." He sounded oddly hurt, but Margaret let it slide.

"I guess that could be it," she said somewhat doubtfully. "She said something about she'd rather be anywhere else."

"There you are then," he said dully. He looked so despondent that Margaret patted his shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be fine after the holiday," she said with a certainty she didn't feel. "Some people are just like that."

She didn't believe it, and neither did he. "Have you ever known Donna to be less than ecstatic about a holiday - any holiday?" he asked.

Margaret had to shake her head. "I don't know. She said she was just tired. She only has - fifteen minutes to go till midnight and an hour after that. She probably just needs some rest."

Josh nodded. "I guess there's nothing I can do if she doesn't want to talk about it. Thanks, Margaret." He squeezed her arm, thinking, Plus, I'm the problem anyway. She doesn't want to be stuck here with me. "CJ must be wrong," he murmured aloud as Margaret walked away. 

  



	5. Great Expectations 5

 

**Great Expectations**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Another New Years story.  
**Spoiler:** Just about everything up to Noel, just to be safe - heavy ITSOTG  
**Author's Note:** I'm trying to reexamine the whole Josh/Donna thing, since I'm thinking in my other stuff they may have jumped to a romantic thing too quickly. Well, we'll see 

Donna was still sitting slumped in a chair with Ginger when she saw them. Busboys in pristine black and white uniforms pushed in carts laden with fresh champagne bottles in ice buckets. Ginger trailed off in midsentence when she noticed that all the color had drained from her friend's face. "Donna? What's wrong?"

"Are they crazy?" Donna demanded in response. "Are they going to open those in here?"

"It's five to midnight," Ginger reported. "Probably."

"Where's Josh?"

Ginger paled as well as soon as she caught on. "Over there with Toby and Sam."

Donna vaulted from her chair and crossed the room with quick, sure steps, her mood forgotten in the face of crisis. She could be sure at least that he needed her help with this. "Josh!"

He looked up, startled but not frightened. "What?"

She stopped as she saw them wheeling the champagne trays into the larger ballroom. "It's almost midnight. I was afraid..."

"Oh," he said. "It's okay. They're doing all the loud stuff in the other room. You really don't have to worry." He figured he didn't need to add any burdens to her already dampened spirits.

She pulled her wrap tighter around herself almost as a gesture of withdrawal. He didn't need her after all. "Okay. I mean, if you're sure. I could wait... you know, with you."

He offered her a sedate smile that didn't reach his eyes. Good old Donna. CJ must have been wrong - she'd always been this solicitous when he was in trouble, always taken care of him. She was his assistant - and maybe more than that, maybe they'd overcome the age thing and the boss thing and become sort of friends, but that was it. And anyone could have chemistry. "If you want. You don't have to babysit me."

Donna nodded. "Okay," she said, tightening her wrap even further around her thin shoulders. "It's, um - it's two minutes. I'll be right over there." She turned and started walking slowly at first, but eventually broke into a near run, not looking at anyone on her way to find Margaret.

Josh felt a hand slip into his, and he looked up to see CJ standing beside him. "Ready?" she asked.

"As I'll ever be."

She pressed his hand gently - the uninjured one this time. "It can't help but be a better year, Josh."

He offered her a genuine smile. "I guess that's true."

She hesitated for a moment. "Have you... ?" She trailed off and gestured subtly in Donna's direction.

He shook his head. "No. No. I don't think - whatever you might have seen with her, I don't think she's really - no. Not meant to be."

She assessed him quietly for a moment and decided this was something no one could push. "Okay."

From the other room they heard the voice of the master of ceremonies begin the countdown. Josh's hand tightened hard on CJ's with every number. He could feel Donna's eyes on him and knew she was worrying even though she was across the room with Margaret. He turned and gave her a forced smile before closing his eyes against the cries of "Happy New Year!" From the other room he heard the sounds of cheering, champagne corks popping painfully even through the thick doors - but he had been expecting the noise, knew it was coming. He squeezed CJ's fingers compulsively, but after a second he turned to her worried face and said simply, "Happy New Year."

She breathed out sharply in relief and smiled at him. "Happy New Year." The two old friends embraced tightly and he kissed her forehead. The uncontrollable sob that racked her body surprised him, but she got herself quickly under control, pressing her hand to her mouth and fighting back the tears. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "Just - thank you for still being here."

He kissed her lips this time, gently and chastely, and then hugged her again. "I love you," he whispered. She smiled into his shoulder and whispered back, "I love you, too."

After separating and turning her over to be kissed by Sam, Josh waded through the rest of the crowd. He found most of the people he knew thronging together in one big lump, hugging and kissing all around. He barely noticed who he was shaking hands with or which women he'd hugged. When he came to Donna he smiled and held out his arms as he would to an old friend. "Happy New Year, Donna," he said, taking hold of her upper arms and giving her an awkward hug. When they pulled back she gave him a halfhearted smile and turned away. He stood watching for a moment, taking deep breaths. "Okay," he said to himself finally. He turned and went to find the President and First Lady.

Donna fought her way through the crowds until she had found Margaret again. She accepted a warm embrace and then said quietly, "I don't feel well. I made it to midnight but I need to go home now. I just wanted to say goodnight."

Margaret rubbed her back affectionately. "You want me to drive you? It's no problem. I can go with you and come back."

"No, I'm okay," Donna replied, shaking her head. "I just need to get out of here."

"Okay," Margaret said, looking more worried than ever. "Call me tomorrow?"

"Sure." Donna made her escape as quickly as possible, practically running down the halls after grabbing her things from her desk.

After greeting the entire First Family Josh found himself standing with Leo and watching the rest of the festivities. Margaret came over a little nervously - her boss had never lost the power to intimidate her - but he hugged her warmly and whispered something that Josh couldn't hear but that made Margaret blush. She looked years younger at that moment than her thirty-four. As Josh hugged her he asked, "Where's Donna?"

"Didn't you see her?" Margaret returned, stepping back. "I thought she would have waited to see you."

"Waited?" he asked.

She nodded. "She just left. She said she wasn't feeling well, but I don't think she was sick. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do." He paused, thinking. "Leo?"

"Yes?"

"Would anyone notice if I slipped out?"

Leo took him by the shoulder and said only, "Josh, something's been wrong with her all night."

Josh turned back to Margaret. "Should I go?"

She hesitated for only a second. "Go."

The ride to Donna's apartment seemed to take forever, even though he knew he could only be a few minutes behind her. He took the stairs a few at a time, trying to ignore the protests from his straining lungs.

When the heavy knock came on the door Donna was lying across her couch. She had changed into flannel pants and a long-sleeved shirt and let her hair fall loose around her face. "It's open," she yelled.

Josh closed the door hard behind him. "You shouldn't leave it unlocked like that."

She didn't move from the couch. "I was expecting Amy back from her party."

He looked at his watch. "It's only twelve-thirty. She'll probably be a while."

"I guess."

"Are you okay? Margaret told me you'd left."

Traitor, Donna thought. "Shouldn't you still be there?"

"Nah. I told Leo I was leaving." He waited a second, then came and squatted in front of the couch where she was laying. "Donna, I want to help if I can."

She was thoughtful for several minutes, absently scratching her neck until vivid red marks appeared. "I don't think so."

"You don't think I want to help?"

She smiled feebly. "I don't think you can."

"Try me."

She looked at him for a moment, then turned her gaze back to the ceiling. "It's just - I just - it's stupid. I've just gotten myself into a mood."

He shifted his weight uncomfortably but didn't move. "Might help to talk about it. I can say that from pretty reliable experience."

She smiled a little. "I guess you can."

"So?"

"So." She fidgeted on the couch. "It's just - New Year's, you know?"

"Not really."

"I mean, you have all these - expectations, about what the year is going to be like, and - and it's all wrapped up in these expectations we have about the perfect New Year's Eve, you know, all those things that have to happen, and you see the TV movies with, you know, Ginger Rogers kissing David Niven in Times Square at midnight and you think that's the way everything really is." Still not looking at him, she leaned her head back in the couch cushions and closed her eyes. "And the problem is, even when you know you shouldn't expect it to be that way because you don't have the perfect life and you don't have - you know, someone to kiss at midnight, you do expect that anyway and anything else is a let-down." She took a deep breath. "I told you it was stupid. I just couldn't help thinking that after everything that happened and all the things that changed, that this year had to be different. Turns out it really wasn't."

Josh was quiet looking at her for a long time. "What do you mean, the things that changed?" he asked finally.

Donna met his eyes for a moment and then looked away. "I don't know what I mean."

His heart skipped a beat, and he decided to listen to it. "Donna?" he asked hesitantly.

"Hmm?"

"Would it - I mean -" He was doing no better than she had. CJ's words kept replaying themselves in his mind. *There is no doubt in my mind that Donna has a crush on you - eventually she's going to stop waiting for you to notice her...* He took a deep breath and decided it was worth the risk. Crunch time. It was time to be as good a friend to her as she'd been to him. "Would it help -" He stopped and tried again. "I don't know if this - if it would even -" She was looking at him curiously. He inhaled one last time and said almost in a rush, "Do you need me right now?"

She stared at him. It seemed that her pale face had gotten paler and her eyes had widened slightly. She couldn't decide whether he was really offering, or just trying to clear his conscience so he could leave. Finally she decided she already looked pretty weak and that she had not much else to lose. "I think I might," she said softly.

He blinked. "Okay." He took a deep breath, not sure what came next but fairly sure that nervous hyperventilation wouldn't help anyone. He reached out uncertainly and stroked her long hair back from her face. She shivered a little but kept their eye contact. "Here's what I think," he said. "You look like you need some sleep, and I -" he shifted and groaned - "I have forty-year-old knees."

Her face fell. This was clearly his concerted effort to be a friend, make sure she wasn't suicidal, before he went home to bed. "Okay?"

He saw her disappointment and his decision was made. If this backfired, or if he was wrong, he was going to kill CJ. "So here's the plan. You have any really huge t-shirts?"

Donna's expression changed from disappointment to utter confusion. "Yes?"

"Okay." The physical tension somewhat lessened for him, he reached out, took both her hands, and wrapped them around his neck. "Hold on." Ignoring her puzzled expression he slipped his arms under her back and knees and stood up - with a certain amount of effort, but nevertheless successfully - lifting her off the couch. She didn't say a word as he carried her to the bedroom and deposited her on the bed. "Shirt?" he asked. She pointed silently to the top drawer. He extracted a large University of Wisconsin t-shirt and went into her bathroom, emerging a while later in her shirt and his boxers, the various parts of his tux draped over one arm. He hung his clothes over a chair, came over to the bed, and hesitated with his hand on the covers. He raised one eyebrow in mute questioning.

She froze for only a second before making up her mind and sliding over, offering tacit permission.

He slipped under the covers and hesitated again. Well, he thought, anything worth doing is worth doing right - and I can always blame CJ. Wanting to let her make the decision herself, he turned to her and held his arm out.

She too had to think for a moment. She searched his face carefully for any trace of pity or guilt. Whatever she found there must have satisfied her, because she reached up and turned off the light. In the dark he felt her move awkwardly closer to him. Not wanting to push, he very cautiously wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. After a moment he felt her relax against him, and then she started very, very quietly to cry. Relief, exhaustion, and a strange feeling of security completely overwhelmed her. He rubbed her back tenderly, still trying to get comfortable with the idea of touching his assistant this way, and whispered, "Shh, it's all right. Just let it out."

Her hand found his in the dark and her tears eventually subsided. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be," he said gently. "You know, you're the second person tonight to apologize for crying on me." He ran his fingers gently through her hair and took her chin in his hand. His brain told him that this was a bad idea, that it would open up the whole can of worms they'd both been keeping firmly closed for such a long time, but CJ's influence was strong and he could sense Donna's loneliness and her need - and also, in the longing clasp of her hand, her feelings for him. He tilted his head down and said softly, "Happy New Year, Donnatella," before pressing a chaste but unmistakably loving kiss to her lips. She kissed him back with the same degree of caution and they parted before it became heavy or passionate, but the air had changed between them. They still had a long way to go before they could start to think about these feelings, but for now he was here and she settled closer to him and absorbed his warmth and care. He rubbed her arm and said softly, "A good year for both of us." 

  



End file.
